Fed up...I need my break soon

I seriously need a break soon
Been going on and on without rest since last September...

Went back home in Nov for barely 5 days...which I can't call that a break anyways...since that 5 days was pack with functions and meet ups...
Had a December break which was used for studying for that awful exam
Went to Paris after exams but could not fully enjoy it since results were not out
After that the worst happened and I lost another months worth of holiday studying
Then only a few days of break before rotations start
and It's just been going on and going on and going...

Going on for almost a year without a proper break where I can just shut off my brain and stop worrying about assignments, presentations and what to study...

Trying to get used to the weather, culture, studies, living out alone and being miles away from home where I spent all my life is tough...interesting experience of cause, but I really need my break now!!!

Please let holidays come now!!! :(

Home

Weirdly I get homesick NOT when I just left home, but it is when I'm about to go home...
Missing everything back home, especially the people...and yes the food!!!

Just one more month till home...

Sigh, stupid gloomy,wet and cold weather making me more depressed...thanks a lot British 'Summer'~~~

For the Love of Hallyu

Hallyu...means 'Korean wave' , which means the popularity of Korean music/ celebrities/ dramas/ movies out of Korea (overseas)...

Korean entertainment is super duper popular,it's not only popular in Asian countries, but it has now 'infected' the western world as well , and not only Asians love it, every ethnicity is enjoying it as well. So what makes it so popular and infective? is it the 'guyliner' where male celebrities wear, or is it the addictive pop music they produce, or is it the more conservative and colorful culture of Korea mixed with the industry which makes it a breath of fresh air compared to American entertainment?

I got drown by the 'hallyu' when I was 12 years old, which was when the insanely popular drama 'Winter Sonata' was aired on TV. I remembered me, being so unfamiliar to the Korean entertainment, would laugh at the Korean language (since it sounds so rough and weird to me that time) and the super cheesy love story line of Winter Sonata......but after a few episodes of that drama, I got sucked into being a Korean addict  ...I remembered going out to video shops to buy the whole DVD set of the drama, and even picking up 2-3 other Korean dramas...and yep, that is when I was officially stuck in the 'hallyu'.

Winter Sonata

I guess what made me an addict was the story line, because it was mostly centered around LOVE, and me being a teenager then LOVED those kind of cheesy love triangle sob stories, plus all the actors and actresses looked soooooo GOOOOD!!! they had awesome fashion and what nots...how could I resist being an addict!!!

Soon, I got hooked on Korean songs, mostly drama OSTs (original sound tracks) first, then slowly got hooked to K-pop. At first it was weird since I could not understand the language (which I still don't now anyways, thank god for subtitles and translations!!), but after awhile I just got so in love with the way the music sounds. The melody was so different, sad melo songs were soooooo sad and touching; while happy pop songs were so addictive with all their 'hooks'.

Few of the popular K-pop groups (2pm,wonder girls,2ne1,big bang,shinee,girls generation)

Then I fell in love with the 'idols' of k-pop because they were so different from the usual celebrities which I used to follow (american/taiwanese ect.). The way they present themselves were so respectful (due to the korean culture) , and there were variety shows which let these idols to show their true personalities (or true 'on stage' personalities anyways), they were funny and clearly you could see how hard they work on stage.

So yeah, hallyu has infected sooooo many people, half of the people I know are die hard korean fans , and I see no reasons why NOT to be a hallyu fan. Well, maybe the insanely pretty male celebrities (who wears make-up nowadays...but why not, it does make them look more pretty) make some people cringe and call them girly...or maybe its the language that makes it difficult to appreciate k-pop/drama.... but hallyu is growing strong, It has invaded so many countries now and gained so many fans all over the world...so yep, sooner or later everyone would be to some extend been 'soaked' in the hallyu:P

I have followed the Korean entertainment scene quite closely for a long time yet I am not a die hard fan of any K-pop groups or K-drama...I'm greedy and I LOVE too many of them to choose a few to be a die hard fan:P....so yep, I shall continue to be drown in hallyu:)... it's just too fun to not be:P

Hoping for the best of me...

Sometimes I wonder why the hell did I choose this path...
This terribly long, hard and stressful road to becoming a Medical Profession.

I am not crazily over empathetic
I am not a triple excellent top student
I am not  good at presenting or communicating
I am not great at anything actually.

But,
I somehow managed to get through 2.5 years of medical theory...(which I had no idea how I did it)
and had the worse 6 months of my life here studying for an exam where I cried,screamed, being depressed and had anxiety....and yet...I somehow again managed to get through that hellhole.

And now being in the more 'practical' part of my training, I do doubt myself from time to time...
How can I be as chatty or lovely as that particular student who is always the 'loved' one by staff and patients.
How can I be as brilliant as that particular student who has endless knowledge and answers for every question thrown at them.
How can I be as curious about everything as that particular student who always ask relevant questions and is always ever learning about everything around them.
...
Then,
there is me,
who is quiet, timid and trying so hard to just 'catch up' to the other students..

Some days I just feel like I had made the wrong decision to be in the medical profession, where I feel that my future patients will hate me and consultants screaming at me for doing stupid,careless things, where working long hours would just burnt me out and responsibilities would drown me and make me go mad.

But then there are days like today...

Where a patient who can barely walk ,got up and shuffle about walking towards me,just to tell me that he is leaving the hospital soon and that he is thankful for the help and would miss me...haha...It is so strange when just a Thank you from a patient, or a smile from them makes you feel soooo happy, and where all the stress and pressures just goes away for that very moment.

I know I am only a student and in NO WAY I have really 'helped' any of them.
But, I do enjoy talking to them, and even though I did not diagnosed them or cure them, but just maybe 'entertained' them and made them feel a little more important during their stay...well...I guess that is enough for them really...

So...yeah it's a longgggg way to go, and I know I have so much more to learn and brush up on...but to tell the truth...I guess it is all worth it in the end for that little thanks and appreciation from the patients...

Sigh...I hope I will turn out fine:)

My Wish...

My wish is to be...

Eating these:

top to bottom:Curry laksa ,nasi lemak,satay, roti canai, sushi(uk sushi is horrible,better ones cost a bomb!!) and fried kuey teow!!!

While Drinking these:

Bubble Tea and 'cham' (malaysian style coffee+tea)

And visiting these places:

Can't my wish come true!!!!T_T

Being Bullied

It's been a long time since I've been bullied...

I have forgotten how hurtful it is
and how helpless one feels when being degraded and insulted

how you wish someone would stand up for you
and most painfully, how much you HOPE you would have stood up for yourself

Today I was indirectly bullied
Being repeatedly put down
Being wrongly accused
Being left standing there faking a stupid smile while inside you just felt like punching the bully...

I guess no matter how much I have grown up
or how much I thought I was stronger and wiser to be able to defend yourself
In the end
I was bullied...

But whatever

They always say the Bullies are the ones with issues ..thus they will try to put people down to make themselves feel better...
So...I guess I have done good by letting that insulting hurtful A-hole feel better about himself....
Good Karma for the day I guess?? :DDD

Oh well, Tomorrow is another day...and It will be one NOT filled with bullies and A-holes:D


Stay Happy!!!!

Going back In TIME...

I want to return back in time
To a time where there were no worries, no responsibilities, no loneliness
Just only happiness, joy and freedom

So I got bitten by the 'how I wish I was a kid again' bug...
Been remembering how awesome my pre-adult years were
And If I had a chance  to return back to a certain time...It would be my High School years.
Yeah I know...High school...ahhaha...a lot of people would not want to return to that era where zits and growing up kinda sucked ...but for me...It was the best of times

Where my family and friends were always there with me
Where fun and laughter filled my day....Everyday of the year...
And where learning about life hurts...yet It made me stronger and more appreciative of who I am now.

I miss home
I miss my friends
I miss the memories...

How I wish time would have just stopped then

Sigh...

Why did I want to grow up so fast when I was a kid!!! dang it...


Growing Up really sucks...