What ifs and Dreams~~~ part 1

Why do you want to be a doctor???
This is one of the most asked question like ever!!!!
but Seriously...I DON"T KNOW...
The standard and MOST common answer will be:
1)It was a childhood dream of mine
2)Someone i know have or had an illness and i want to cure them
3)I want to save lives

but none of the above applies to me...well maybe the 3rd one,kind of...
I sound so evil right now huh~~~~evil medical student!!!

I guess you can call it a calling...
I suddenly wanted to do Medicine when I was in college,I don't know why but I suddenly had this passion for it...a very strong burning passion for it...not sure why...but what i know is, i entered this course not only to cure other people, but most importantly to cure me ...

I wanted to be strong, to be brave, to be bold, to be confident...and being in the medical field, i KNOW that I will be pushed to be all of these~~~I wanted to learn and mature faster, wanted to not be an introvert(yes i was, believe it or not),wanted to not be selfish and care for another, and most importantly, wanted to do something with my life that I will be proud of...no matter how hard or tough its going to be...



Well, so I just suddenly started thinking yesterday....
what IF i was not a medical student...what other things then i shall pursue???...
hhhmmmmmmmmmmmmm......lets see~~~~


Failed Dreams and what ifs:

1)Pianist/Musician


Seriously, who NEVER wanted to be a musician before!!!
I love music,and i enjoy playing the piano a lot,but I regret big time when i stopped my piano lessons when I was eleven at grade 3. Why did i stop???Well I had this piano teacher for 2 years which i really liked,i learned super fast from him because he was funny and very nice, but then he resigned from the music center i go to and went overseas to further his music career.
After that i had a new teacher, an uptight,super prideful b*tch who always yelled at me...so i stopped...then started again one year later with a new teacher...oh god...that teacher sucked big time too, he is really young and is not so experienced ; he was so boring and jokeless...and most importantly he yelled crazily at me till i cried before my grade 3 piano exams...after I passed my grade 3 exam, i straight away dropped piano...
and then i started again in form 4 where i learned from my school's music teacher and continued till I entered IMU...I only finished grade 6...sad right

but when I was in form 4, a japanese drama called NODAME CANTABILE made me WANT to be a pianist SOOOOOOOOO badly.The drama revolves around music students in a music school,and the pieces they play in the drama were so beautiful and touching...and...it seems so cool being in a music school!!!! I wanted to be like those ppl in the drama!!!


and and and~~~~
My form 4 music teacher brought us to KLCC to see the MPO(malaysian philharmonic orchestra)feat. two piano solos....wow...it was beautiful, It was my first time loving the piano and music soooo much...

I really planned to faster start piano during form 4 and finish my diploma before I was form 6 then enter a music school!!!!and live happily ever after as a pianist~~~~~~~crazy huh...but ....

reality striked....

I found that I was not gifted with the awesome talent to play piano,...and I CAN"T play by ear which made me realize i suck...and since I have not been playing the piano constantly my fingers are super stiff and slow...

so yeah...that dream of becoming a pianist sadly sinked...:(

(TO BE CONTINUED....)
What ifs and Dreams~~~ part 2 on its way~~~~~~~~~~~