Starting of a new chapter

6 months....
that's how long I've been stressed out from exam...

Never in my life have I felt so much pressure...and so much emotions that engulfed me during those few months...anxiety,depression,confusion,anger and distress..... almost everyday for that 6 months...I've felt that way...

So many times I have questioned myself...am I good enough...what am I doing here....what the hell is all this pain I'm feeling...and....Do I deserve to be here..... In summary it was HELL during those times...

I've never been the smartest...or NEVER ever been the best at what I do for that matter......and yet I'm here pursuing something so difficult...so challenging........haha....I still can't believe I'm still SURVIVING this course....

Well...all the emo-ness aside...I have survived yet again....Pain,Failure,Tears....It was horrible...but at least it is all over...and a new challenge lies ahead again....


YEAH...now I can finally stop posting emo post and move on to happier post....

Only If

I've never been so scared in my life
In a shitty situation with shitty feelings...

what if things don't turn out well
what if I'm just too weak to carry on and screw all of it up

...

What am I to do...when my best was not enough...and now I need to push myself even further...
When every moment I swear to myself how useless I am...and blame myself for not being good enough...

I'm so tired...really very very tired....
I want to give all of it up...
and just sleep for one night without any worries...

What should I do....I . don't. know.

Chill Chill Chill

One more month till the killer exam...
where there is a 70% failing rate...
and I feel so unprepared that I constantly suffer from panic attacks...
Yet
I'm not studying....

What the hell am I doing to myself!!!

GAHHHH!!!!chill chill chill

Hopefully

I really hope everything turns out alright....
but... everything Is just against me...
and It seems so tiring and unfair...
Why must I go through so much challenges...

please let me be brave...
please stay strong~


You can do it...please remember...to be strong

Pls continue to be awesome....

Its been almost a month since I'm in UK...It was a whole mix of emotions I've experienced this few weeks...excited,anxious,scared,worried,happy,Crazy happy,depressed,rock bottom depressed,angry ect.~~~~ I feel like a crazy person with all this different emotions...

But it's really great...even though there were times i WISHED i was back in Malaysia with all the ppl I love...with no stress...with no worries...and with no problems trying to "fit in"...but I know this will make me stronger...and hopefully more independent.... to adapt with this new environment...and staying out by myself for the first time with no one to depend on....

Yeah it is tough...so many time I fell into the "OH MY GAWD!!!I"M SOOOOO DEPRESSED" mode...but luckily it just lasted for awhile before i got back to my "I"M GOING TO BE SO AWESOME!!!!" mode...

So yep....I'm enjoying myself...I have great friends here supporting me...did so many things I've never done before...and I've met so many great friendly ppl too~~~~

know it can only go downhill from now on(STUPID EXAM!!!!!)...but yeah...just be positive and have fun I guess~~~

sigh...such a random post=_=.... anyways....be happy and just DO IT!!!! lalalalala @_@

After every storm...the skies will surely clear up and be ever more beautiful ... So I know after every hardship...there's bound to be something great and spectacular waiting after the 'suffering'...:)

:)

Loneliness could be a pain in the ass
and
People might me cold and ignore you
and you will feel that no matter how hard you try ,
they will just keep on pushing you down...

but It will get better
coz no one is ever alone...ever
and happiness come to those who are willing to just put aside the "pity party" thinking and just keep on going....

so...
please continue to smile...
don't give up:D

Let's Do It!!!!!!!

It's a long road ahead...but let's make it a beautiful one:D

要学习。。。独立

很快就要开始新的生活。。。。
新的环境
新的考验
新的朋友
新的经验。。。

又怕又兴奋。。。不知将来的我会变的怎样。。。

希望，我会变得更坚强，更成熟。。。更快乐~~~

未来，我来了！！！
Let's GO!!!!!